Can You Cook, Sing Or Striptease?

By , 23 August 2012

Can You Cook, Sing Or Striptease?
Can You Cook, Sing Or Striptease?

Here's a transcript of an old text conversation I found archived on my phone.

Me: So if I teach you zouk, what are you going to do for me? I mean, can you cook, sing, or do striptease?

No reply. She didn't buy my alpha asshole game. The shock.

I figured I'd give her a few days, but ended up forgetting about her. Looking back on it I think "what are you going to do for me?" is an epic fail. No-one likes obligations.

Then, two weeks later while browsing my phone for leads (as you do) I found the loose thread and figured it wouldn't hurt to give it another shot before sending her contacts the way of the recycling bin.

Can You Cook, Sing Or Striptease?

Me: Okay, no problem. I'll take cooking. Striptease is way overrated anyway... PLUS you already told me you can cook awesome filipino food, right?

Her: Haha no i dont cook filipino food but nice try how long are you staying in rio?

This is a much better message. It contains my favourite subtle mandarin-neg which says that food is more important to you than her and also implies that she is attracted and just didn't reply for two weeks because like her phone had a flat battery or something.

We flirted some more but I ended up with a different girl.

Real life always trumps text game.

About Roger Keays

Can You Cook, Sing Or Striptease?

I guess I'd call myself a problem solver. Either that, or I'm some sort of organic machine designed to convert oxygen into carbon dioxide. You could go either way on that. I'm into languages and stuff. I wrote a book. It's okay, I guess. What else? I like reading, swimming, eating, and playing music. Satisfied? Sheesh.

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Comment posted by: ian ying, 5 years ago

 man i would take the striptease over the cooking.. just saying..

Comment posted by: Roger Keays, 5 years ago
  1. She can owe you stuff if it's a part of a game. In this case I think she took my first text too seriously (always a potential problem with text game). Real obligations are bad, pretend obligations are fun - "Now you owe me a back rub". If she has two orgasms and you only have one you can tease her with "No way. You still owe me an orgasm". She can also use that to rationalise seeing you again.
  2. She never owes you sex. You trade sex for sex. Not money, not friendship, not relationships and not even dance lessons.

Comment posted by: steven, 5 years ago

 So in general would you say never make her feel like she owes you anything?  Or just she never explicitly owes you anything?