Canned Responses

Where are you from?

  • my mother says I'm from heaven
  • its a secret
  • Guess
  • Here
  • I am Japanese
  • do you know where (timtams, billabong, lamingtons, pavlova, crocodile dundee, steve irwin, kangaroos) come from?

What do you do?

  • not much
  • I'm a porn star
  • porn, viagra, spam
  • I'm a record breaker
  • I'm a hand model, aren't my hands beautiful?
  • I'm a traveler
  • I'm a problem solver
  • I'll do anything
  • I invent words (nonversation, toiletries, pointful)
  • mostly missionary, sometimes doggie style

How do you make money?

  • my friends give it to me. Wanna be my friend?
  • I rob banks

How old are you?

  • guess
  • 15
  • I forget
  • old enough to be your father - why are you out so late?

Where do you stay?

  • you can't come home with me. i hardly know you
  • I live in a tent near the beach, next to the public toilets

Do you have a girlfriend?

  • hmm... only one
  • I'm not married
  • yes, several
  • no, I have 8 but I'm looking for a 9th

I have a boyfriend

  • (shrug)
  • real or imaginary?
  • its okay, I'm discreet
  • that's cool, you'll have something to do when we're not together
  • cool! he can like cook us dinner and stuff
  • I can totally relate .. I have two kids
  • I just met you and you're already telling me about your problems?
  • eew gross. do you guys like make out and stuff? that's disgusting
  • I don't care about your stupid boyfriend

Give me your number

  • I don't give my number to strangers
  • I don't actually know my number, let me call you
  • I don't give my number out to girls I've haven't slept with.

you're such an asshole. I know, its fun

you're a jerk. You like jerks huh?

are you a liar? yes

where you with another girl? no. two other girls.

are you tired? I don't get tired

are you a good dancer? I'm awesome

this would never work I totally agree

why don't you (wash your car)? because I don't care

I'm not going home with you okay

why didn't you tell me? I wasn't sure you wanted to know

you lied to me sorry

why didn't you call me? because I didn't want to speak to you

Canned Responses

Leave a Comment

Please visit https://rogerkeays.com/canned-responses to add your comments.