Canned ResponsesWhere are you from?
- my mother says I'm from heaven
- its a secret
- Guess
- Here
- I am Japanese
- do you know where (timtams, billabong, lamingtons, pavlova, crocodile dundee, steve irwin, kangaroos) come from?
What do you do?
- not much
- I'm a porn star
- porn, viagra, spam
- I'm a record breaker
- I'm a hand model, aren't my hands beautiful?
- I'm a traveler
- I'm a problem solver
- I'll do anything
- I invent words (nonversation, toiletries, pointful)
- mostly missionary, sometimes doggie style
How do you make money?
- my friends give it to me. Wanna be my friend?
- I rob banks
How old are you?
- guess
- 15
- I forget
- old enough to be your father - why are you out so late?
Where do you stay?
- you can't come home with me. i hardly know you
- I live in a tent near the beach, next to the public toilets
Do you have a girlfriend?
- hmm... only one
- I'm not married
- yes, several
- no, I have 8 but I'm looking for a 9th
I have a boyfriend
- (shrug)
- real or imaginary?
- its okay, I'm discreet
- that's cool, you'll have something to do when we're not together
- cool! he can like cook us dinner and stuff
- I can totally relate .. I have two kids
- I just met you and you're already telling me about your problems?
- eew gross. do you guys like make out and stuff? that's disgusting
- I don't care about your stupid boyfriend
Give me your number
- I don't give my number to strangers
- I don't actually know my number, let me call you
- I don't give my number out to girls I've haven't slept with.
you're such an asshole. I know, its fun
you're a jerk. You like jerks huh?
are you a liar? yes
where you with another girl? no. two other girls.
are you tired? I don't get tired
are you a good dancer? I'm awesome
this would never work I totally agree
why don't you (wash your car)? because I don't care
I'm not going home with you okay
why didn't you tell me? I wasn't sure you wanted to know
you lied to me sorry
why didn't you call me? because I didn't want to speak to you
Canned Responses